The person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with has just dumped you. She might have tried letting you down easily but that doesn’t really take the sting out of the fact that the person you love most in life has just walked out of yours. In fact, nothing really helps that ‘lost’ feeling that often follows an unwanted and/or unexpected breakup.

Your feelings are the real threat and may be the source of your undoing if you aren’t careful. But you don’t have to remain in that ‘fog’ of feeling that might seem inescapable at the moment. You can get a tight grip on your feelings so they don’t push you over the edge. The worst thing you can do at a time like this is allow your emotions to rule your mind. You need to get a tight grip on your feelings about the situation so that you can avoid a few common, and costly, mistakes like these:

Drunk Dialing, Texting, or Emailing

Drinking is never a good match for depression. It lowers inhibitions and only serves to increase negative emotions like fear, uncertainty, and depression. Alcohol is, after all, a depressant. When you mix emotional volatility, alcohol, lower inhibitions, and any kind of contact with your ex you’re looking for a future restraining order. You’re certainly not going to make the case for reconciliation this way.

Unfortunately, alcohol is one of the first things that people turn to as an escape when they are hurt, lonely, and even angry after an unwanted breakup. It generally only serves to make the problem Get Your Ex Backworst and can lead you to behavior that you’ll have cause to regret and/or apologize for later on.

Retaliatory Strikes

Love is war, or so the saying goes. But when love goes wrong it can lead to a series of escalating battles or skirmishes. The breakup was the first blow your heart took. It was a big one. There’s no denying that.

The problem is that a lot of people are left hurting and afraid for the future after a breakup. Their first response is to lash out at the person who caused them pain. Then it becomes a game of one-upmanship that takes no prisoners. It becomes an all-out emotional and psychological war between you and your ex. That’s the last thing you want – especially if there’s a small part of you that’s still clinging to the hope that you can somehow find a way to get your ex back.

At the end of the day that’s the goal for most people in your situation. Finding a constructive way to achieve that goal is the best use of your time after a breakup. Need a little help on that front? Start with this free video that shows the one opening move that has been highly effective for more than 50,000 other couples. It might be the perfect tool to help you get your ex back too.

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